Month: May 2021

It is easy to say, “I love you.” It is more challenging to actually love because to give and receive love we give and receive positive behavior.

Giving love is being kind, peaceful, loyal, and honest. We are faithful, compassionate, supportive, and patient.

Receiving love we feel valued, heard, and appreciated. We feel nurtured and accepted.

We feel love by others when we receive positive behavior.

Someone knows we love them through receiving positive behavior.

It is giving  and receiving positive behavior that gives real meaning to, “I love you.”

Walking home from the gym I passed a very old man in a wheelchair who was sitting next to his care giver outside a local coffee shop.  As I walked by he said, “Hello, gorgeous!” I turned around and replied, “Well hello to you sweetheart.” “Come back over here and say that to my face,” the old man said smiling from ear to ear. 

I stopped and said, “How are you today, sir?” “Just wonderful, and you?” “My day was great but it is even more wonderful thanks to you,” I replied.  He smiled even bigger and winked at me. 

As I walked away I passed a group of young men who were walking in his direction. I heard the old man say, “Well hello there gentlemen.” They were smiling as they stopped to say hello to the old man. 

What a sweet encounter and a great reminded how powerful a smile and a kind word are to brighten someone’s day.

Until a few years ago I had no clue what a troll is.  But in the past month or so about two dozen people have been banned from my Facebook page. Most likely their comments were not seen as the security filters are high or I quickly caught their comments.

I am blessed that the majority of people choose to gather on the Romancing Your Soul Facebook page to share positivity, support, and messages of inspiration to grow ourselves into better, more responsible, peaceful, and loving people.  With that goal in my heart I am happy to engage in discussions that are respectful and beneficial. Also it is certainly okay if someone questions or disagrees with something that is posted. But, I do not engage with people who sarcastically attack me or others through cowardly cyber bullying.

Being a group of people who are working to live more from heart than ego does not mean we are weak or push-overs. We do not need to be intimidated by those who behave unconsciously motivated by a negative, misinformed, or egocentric belligerence.  I encourage us to remain compassionate in the truth, “If they knew better they would do better.” Which means because we know better we do better to remain respectful.  We remain peaceful and calm. We accept the wisdom that there is no merit in ego-boxing with people. 

While some may feel that these people are the very ones best served by remaining a part of the page, each of us must be receptive to looking within to grow and learn. It is my experience some people are stuck in blame, one-mindedness, and resentment to the point they are only open to see their angry, condemning, and often distorted view of others and the world.

To bring a higher, wiser level of awareness to our lives we refuse to tolerate abuse because abuse is never LOVE. Therefore, part of our responsibility is to set boundaries with people who attack, insult, or bully others. We block them from Facebook, ban them from hanging around our children, removed ourselves from abusive family and friends, and whatever other actions are necessary to clearly define acceptable behavior in how we are treat one another s we want to be treated. 

At one time I was about $30,000 in credit card debt. I shopped and mindlessly charged in what I now realize was a desperate and misguided attempt to fill the emotional holes in my heart. My home was filled with stuff and no matter how much I bought, my heart was still empty. I was so tired of feeling out of control, like a hamster going round and round on a wheel.  

It was not easy to admit to myself how far removed I had been from personal responsibility. I ignored my gut and continued to lie to myself that shopping was good therapy. It was embarrassing and shocking to finally own up to the fact that I had been so dishonest with myself. Now I faced a huge financial challenge. Accepting the truth caused such a deep panic I remember falling onto the floor at the sheer impact of my situation. I was immediately filled with fear and worry.  I could not imagine how I was going to pay off all the debt. 

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and finally got control of myself. After a few days of living with the raw honesty of new reality I figured the only way to be free and to begin healing my heart-holes was to assume full responsibility for what I had created.  I tore up all my credit cards and established a payback plan. When the urge to shop hit I took a walk, sat alone outdoors in the natural world, called a friend to catch up, directly addressed the negative thoughts of my past, or went to a local organization and volunteered to help others. With time, each of the self-loving actions I took steadily wore away the need for something outside me to repair my broken heart. 

Over several years I did pay off the debt and today I am debt free. Getting free of such an irresponsible past was one of the biggest challenges I’ve overcome.  It happened when I became completely honest with myself. When I emotionally owned what I had created, instead of mindlessly ignoring what I did, I finally found the strength to successfully get off the wheel that was taking me nowhere.  

Today I am truly grateful for the experience. I know now the holes in my heart could only be repaired with self-love and respect. These are two of the things I found once I had the courage to be honest with myself about being dishonest with myself.