There was a time I refused to take the actions I knew were best for me and for everyone concerned. So I stayed in a relationship long after the lessons I needed to learn were over. I was stuck by the excuses that I could somehow make it work, or get the other person to change, or that I could not break the commitment I made. I bought the fear and guilt based rationalizations until the day I realized I was suffering and everyone around me was too. Not just because of the negative relationship but because we were not taking the actions we knew in our heart were best.
Too often we stay in negative situations for all the wrong reasons. If we know it is time to go then we need to honestly look at the excuses, fear, and guilt we are allowing to stop us from doing what needs to be done. We must also remember that our actions serve as examples for others. Do we honestly want the people we say we love to continue to endure what we are enduring? Do we want them to put aside self-love and respect because they do not have the courage to love themselves more by removing themselves from a negative situation? Do we really want to show them how little we respect ourselves by choosing to remain in our suffering rather than choosing to free ourselves?
Often we think we are wrong for leaving or giving up. We need to remember that when a relationship has run its course, we know it beyond doubt in our heart. What makes us wrong is not leaving the relationship, but continuing to subject ourselves to the negative, to the suffering.
This week remember that loving yourself and others is courageously doing what you must even if that means taking yourself out of a relationship. Yes, moving on hurts. But the pain is bearable knowing that doing what needs to be done to end to your suffering will be best for everyone involved. Even if the other people involved do not change, you have changed yourself by bringing a higher level of awareness to the situation. You have refused to continue to make negative contributions to a relationship while calling it love. That is leading with your heart.